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Top 10 things NOT to do on Valentine’s Day


Oh yes, Valentine’s Day is upon us and for the most part, it is a day of big expectations and gargantuan let downs. Did you know that the week following Valentine’s Day is the biggest time of the year for break ups? There is a lot riding on this trivial, even cheesy Hallmark holiday. I did not write the rules, but I am here to help you follow them. Even if she says it is not a big deal, please do something for her. I promise that she will not complain about you expressing your love. In fact, it will probably make her love you even more. For most women, it is not the cost of the gift but it is the thought you put into it. We just want to know that you care about us, you are listening to our needs and desires and you are willing to express it. Here is a list of things not to do to keep your love flowing and you in her good book.

Top 10 things NOT to do on Valentine’s Day

•             Regifting- Nothing says cheap, lazy bastard than giving a gift that you did not want and are passing it on to the one you love. Take some time TODAY and get her something. Even if you are really poor, think about her interests, the colors she likes to wear or her favorite vacation. Get her something that reflects what she likes. It tells her that you are paying attention to her and her needs. Instant points achieved.

•             Don’t tell her that she needs a night off from the kitchen so you will order the pizza. If you did not score reservations at a fancy restaurant, at the bare minimum, make her chocolate mousse. It is romantic, easy to make and incredibly indulgent. She will know that her man is taking care of her and you will probably score a little action at the end of the night. See recipe below.

•             Don’t invite your buddies along to dinner. She wants to be with you and only you, so she can gaze lovingly into your eyes. She does not want you distracted by your buddies and have your attention split. You know what she wants? She wants to tell her friends after Valentine’s Day what an amazing, romantic, generous man she has. Give her something to tell her friends.

•             Don’t be late. A few years ago, I was out for dinner on Valentine’s Day. There was a woman sitting beside my table, looking beautiful with a gift sitting in her lap, waiting. The longer she was waiting, the angrier she got. It was painful to watch. Her boyfriend finally showed up 45 minutes late. When he did come in, the entire restaurant gave him stink-eye. Don’t be the stink-eye guy.

•             Don’t Tell her that Christmas was just yesterday and you spent a pile of money on her then so you did not feel the need to do anything for her now. Do something for her now. Again, it does not have to be big, just thoughtful. All we want to know is that you truly care.

•             Don’t tell her the cost of what you spent. She really doesn’t want to know. She just wants to know that you saw the perfect gift for her and you knew she would love it and you were going to get it for her it at any cost. She wants you to be her very own superman. Start acting like you have and wear a cape, all the time.

•             Don’t go overboard. Valentine’s Day is a careful dance of giving, but not giving too much, especially if your lady said that she is not into Hallmark holidays. A sincere card, a bouquet of organic, fair trade flowers and a whole lot of kissing and a foot massage are more than sufficient. No one will reject that. And if she does, you are probably in the wrong relationship.

•             Don’t pick a fight. If there are little things that are annoying you, try really hard to ignore that and feel the love only the love, flowing between you. Love is energy as much as it is an emotion. Connect with those euphoric love vibes and have a meaningful, affectionate, beautiful night together. That is really all she wants from you anyway.

•             Don’t make excuses as to why you could not do something for her. She does not want to hear that you had a bad day at the office or that you are really stressed out. She wants to be the center of your attention. She wants to know that when you are with her, you are so happy that your troubles fade away. She wants to nurture and nourish you. Let her do that and she will feel empowered.

•             Most importantly, don’t forget to tell her that you love her deeply, honestly, truly. Don’t forget to tell her that your life is much better for having her in it. Don’t forget to tell her she is a stone cold fox and you are proud to have her as the lady in your life.

Enjoy Valentine’s Day. Remember, it is all about the L-O-V-E.

Courtesy of Gourmet Magazine  | December 2002

Note: This is not vegan. There are other recipes that call for Silken Tofu though as you know, I am not down with Bean curd in any form.

Chocolate Mousse

yield: Makes 8 servings


2 cups organic chilled heavy cream

4 large organic egg yolks

3 tablespoons organic palm sugar or coconut sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract or powder

7 oz fine-quality organic bittersweet chocolate (not unsweetened), chopped or raw cocoa      powder

Garnish: lightly sweetened whipped cream

Special equipment: an instant-read thermometer


Heat 3/4 cup cream in a 1-quart heavy saucepan until hot but not boiling. Whisk together yolks, sugar, and a pinch of salt in a metal bowl until combined well, then add hot cream in a slow stream, whisking until combined. Transfer mixture to saucepan and cook over moderately low heat, stirring constantly, until it registers 160°F on thermometer. Pour custard through a fine-mesh sieve into a bowl and stir in vanilla.


Melt chocolate in a double boiler or a metal bowl set over a pan of simmering water stirring frequently. Whisk custard into chocolate until smooth, then cool.


Beat remaining 1 1/4 cups cream in a bowl with an electric mixer until it just holds stiff peaks. Whisk one fourth of cream into chocolate custard to lighten, then fold in remaining cream gently but thoroughly.

Spoon mousse into 8 (6-ounce) stemmed glasses or ramekins and chill, covered, at least 6 hours. Let stand at room temperature about 20 minutes before serving.

Cooks’ notes: • Mousse can be chilled up to 1 day.


• To vary the flavor, you can replace the 1 teaspoon vanilla with 2 teaspoons instant-espresso powder (dissolve it in the hot cream) or 3 tablespoons Grand Marnier or 2 tablespoons Cognac (either one whisked into strained custard).


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